Learning Space

Whooshing winds lash around
This oasis where kids abound.
Chameleon hills turn green to brown
Miles away from any town.

Smiling, howling, pondering, scowling
Melodies play hide and seek
Naughty faces in corridors peek.
There's cheer that erodes any fear.

Feel the air that with laughter tinkles,
See the open faces with joy crinkle.
Sobs, gossip, squabbles galore
Little souls create their own folklore.

Who is the teacher?
Who is the student?
Drama, dance, games, music, art,
Of these we all are a part.

Bubbles of energy, questioning minds
Sensitive, easy answers how to find?
Minions of change will you be?
Your difference for all to see?

Me, English teacher!

Life has this strange way of giving you what you really want, if you're patient enough. Many times you don't even see it coming. Sometimes that longing has been buried under so many layers of “given up” that it doesn't hit you till you're deep into it. I took some time to realise that I am living out my childhood fantasies of teaching. No more was I teaching imaginary students in my room using the black rusted trunk as my blackboard with precious chalks bought out of pocket money. No more was I creating fantastic theories of Maths or Science. No more was I correcting reams of make believe answer sheets of real paper, signing good, very good, poor, satisfactory with a red flourish (several red pens have been sacrificed on the altar of pretend playing).

It's all real. Except for the technicalities. I don't comment good or poor, there are no marksheets and the subject is English. There is an endless supply of white and coloured chalk (dustless) and huge blackboards on which I can write for however long I want. (I know that little Tania's heart would have leapt with delight at such a prospect!) There are real, eager souls looking up at me with their sparkling eyes, asking incessant questions. Someday, twenty years hence, some child may remember his first class teacher at Sahyadri. And if we meet, may narrate some tiny incident that only the sponge like mind of a child can absorb and retain.

And who would have thought that being a teacher would in a strange way reopen my beloved world of words! To dig into and savour. And write. It had seemed to me that I had lost forever my ability to write. But slowly, the words are trickling out... hotch potch sometimes...but with a glimmer of hope that I will once again regain the fluency that I once had and enjoyed. I've been able to make up a little bit for years of not reading. (No, I do not consider Stoner and Freeman, Luthans, Kotler or Economic Times “reading” material. Only Ricardo Semler maybe.) The lost world of literature is being found. I have begun to look at poems too, in a new way.

I, the English teacher am learning so much...

Poem: Dilemma

What sort of person shall I be?
I am made of clay
To be molded in any way
So many things within
Make up the raw material that's me

What for do I aspire?
What do I desire?
Love for words, love for birds,
Love for trees and the seas
I'm so full of dreams!

Creative juices must flow
To flood conventions of long ago
Let the mind not build roadblocks
Time's hands run faster than clocks!

Apprehension, fear, I have to lose
At some point I have to choose
To live life as I know it
Or to die slowly, bit by bit

Poem: The bottomless pit

I would like people around me not to judge
me or the things around.
That's a dream i can't fudge
none of them will ever budge.

Things like this will always abound
so what should I do?
can only poison spew?
I don't know ... it's confusing
it needs a lot of musing.

It all boils down to this -
will you live life according to the world miss?
Sorrow is yours for the asking
in glory there will be no basking.
Matters you have to take in your own hand...
how much will you simply rant?

But I wonder,
do I have the power?
Really?
Is it all that will take
a better life to make?

What about my self doubts?
of which I have several bouts...
how can I change that?
that's the question of the hour
I don't think the solution is only power.

How much can I SWOT analyse?
I seem to have no choice...
in circles I go round and round
no solution can be found.

Books and books have I read
(should have fooled around instead)
Things seem more complicated
Oh! this journey seems ill fated!

What is wrong and what is right?
I don't know any more
try, try, try as I might.
Things seemed simple before
and now I can't see the light.

My whole value system lies shaken,
my very foundation seems broken.
How do I rebuild it from scratch?
Where will I find what will match?

But...but...but and but...
that doesn't make the cut.
The who, where, what of it all
is enough to make one want to bawl.

So again we come to where we started.
The answer is not from me parted.
How do I find it... how do I find it...
This is such a bottomless pit!

-Written without a pause at a time when I was terribly lost. Being usually stuck at rhymes, I surprised myself that it flowed at a time like this.

Legalised Live-in realtionships

Err... what's the whole point of not marrying if you are going to be anyways saddled with a "legal" partner... isn't that what a wife or husband is? I don't know why the debate is whether we are ready for live-in relationships. I mean - if it's legal, then it's ok?

Live ins have been happening for a long time now. Those who are in such relations are in social circles where it is okay and don't care about what others say AND others don't really care about it so much now. Who has the time???? People, especially in cosmopolitan cities have become more accepting and open about such things. Perhaps it's also easier for the live in couples because family most of the times are not in the same city - so there aren't any pressures etc. Many times it just makes economic sense.

But why legalise it? I have not understood the whole point. To protect women from domestic violence? But that doesn't apply only to a wife. Anyone with whom you share your living space and beats you up will be booked under the Domestic Violence Act. Think about it : is it okay for your bro or sis (let's be fair) to beat you up?

There's this story of a woman who was in a 5 year live in relationship. Then she accuses the man of rape and violence. Now she has a case against him and is demanding Rs. 10,000 as monthly upkeep. What shit is this man? Is this the point of legal live ins? Why didn't she just walk away from the man? And why does she want him to pay for her upkeep? What sort of regressive bullshit are we talking about?

Are feminists seriously okay with this sort of assumption about "the weaker sex". Is a live in woman, who has anyways broken traditional boundaries unable to take care of herself? The relationship ends and now she is this sniveling sore woman who has nowhere to go? Who will take care of her? Boo hoo hoo....

The next argument: There are people who have two wives. Oh well, maybe it makes sense in the case of an innocent, naive woman who is so blissfully unaware of her husband's dual life. Yes, she definitely is a pitiable creature and can be protected thanks to this legal "status". If she knew all along, and was okay with it, then why should anyone meddle? That's her way of saying, I can manage on my own. Why don't we let her? Why does society insist on keeping her dependant?

But the argument that makes most sense is this: If we split, who gets to keep what? Aaaahh... now we're talking. It seems that things always boil down to the moolah. Yes, yes, definitely get a court to decide this part for us immature babies - who thought we were real smart in avoiding the complications of married life.... Baaahhhh!

After a hiatus

Well.... when I started this rant and rave blog, I really thought that I would be regularly doing that, simply cos there's so much to rant and rave about....

But with so much other stuff happening in life, I had only time to stand and stare - not type and tell :-)

Now I am back, and at least for a short time am gonna add some more posts soon... while I am at it, can anyone tell me (at the risk of sounding totally uninitiated) why do people blog?

Pune's non roads

It's been talked about a lot... tomes have been written about it, action has been forced to be taken... but I have to voice my two bit worth too...

It's a simple question - WHY for the love of God can't Pune have smooth roads? I mean can't they just lay them out evenly? The whole place is bandaged here and there with grout and tar like some badly wounded soldier. One can't drive for more than 5 secs before the next uneven patch. I'm so sick of bumping, bumping, bumping along instead of riding....

NDTV Good Times

I hardly watch TV... but when I do ... its a pleasure to come across a channel like NDTV Good Times. Very craftily designed, the Good Times hits you in your face , the neat little Kingfisher bird hovers around the logo and 90% of the ads cause a certain ringing in your ear to the tune of "oooh lala la oo lelo"... well.. i'm a new fan so may not have got that right! The channel is a coup of sorts... Mallya's vision seems to extend beyond his brands... the entire luxury segment is benefiting by this channel.

The channel has some great quality content.. shows like Around the World in 85 plates, The Chef and His Better Half (though it could be more lively), One Life to Love... are completely my kind of shows. Though I've seen them only 2 or 3 times, they're such a welcome change from the trite that is dished out on other channels. Good production values and presenters with their own distinct style and attitude... even the flaky shows seem to have some heart and sincerity about them.

Of neera wallas and wallis

"Neera Aahein"...anyone who's spent a few days in Pune would be used to seeing tiny kiosks with a painting of a palm tree along the roads. They serve a cool, refreshing drink... NEERA. I love neera. It tastes somewhat like coconut water. I can drink up to 4 glasses bottoms up in one go and feel like I've had a few sips. I don't drink from all neera kiosks... coz they're famous for adulteration with sugar and water. I visit 3 trusted vendors.... one in Aundh, in Deccan and a recently discovered one near FTII on Law College road. But this post is not about my neera fixes...

The neerawalli or maushie in Aundh... near Baner Phata... she's one amazing woman.. simple, professional, honest, totally customer oriented, shining eyes that are ready to smile at you, a kind word that is not intruding, attention to detail, great memory... she's 4th pass or something like that.. its immaterial.. she exudes a certain kind of sensitivity, grace and dignity that just touches my heart. She's been running that stall for the past 20 years. She lives in Hadapsar and in the early days she used cycle all the way.. thats 15 kms one way. Now they have one more stall on Baner road, a rickshaw driven by her husband (that is now used for the commute), a son who works in the admin dept at Serum Institute, another son is in 12th and Rs. 1 lakh per month offers to run her stall by wannabe neerawallas.

Not to mention the die hard fans of her and her neera... pure for sure. She has people who phone her from abroad letting her know when they will be in town and who travel a few kms just to have a glass of her neera. I ask her, isnt she tempted to give her stall to be run by someone else? I mean, one lakh per month is a pretty decent sum for anyone...She replies, "If someone cheats just once.. all the credibility and trust built over so many years will just go down the drain. I can't take that chance with my customers. And though it's tiring, it's ok.. after all its SEASONAL business na... " No kidding she actually said seasonal :-) though the rest of it was in hindi.

Aah well...

This recently discovered neera place near FTII is managed by a young geeky looking chap... complete with specs and all. I think he reads when he's not serving customers. I've been enthralling him for the past few days by my capacity to down several glasses of neera in one go. The other day he ventured to comment that it looked like I loved neera a lot. I smiled sheepishly, nodded, said thanks and left. Today... I'm on my second visit to the kiosk.. I ask for just one glass, because I'd had a few glasses an hour back... he smiles and serves up another glass. Just like that.. wouldn't accept money for the second glass.

Just makes me wonder... so many people.. with whom you exchange a few glances or at most a few words... Though there is no name for my relationships with my neera walla or neera maushie.. apart from being a customer... there's something indescribable that goes beyond that.. not quite a friendship... but more like some tacit understanding of comrades. And somewhere, we care for each other.